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“Unforgiveness Makes Your Love for God Grow Cold” – Blog by Julie Shrader

How Unforgiveness Hardens your Heart with God

How does unforgiveness in your hearts harden your love and relationship with God?  Your love for Jesus Christ WILL actually grow cold!

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold” – Matthew 24:12

“Every time you refuse to forgive or fail to overlook a weakness in another, your heart not only hardens toward them, it hardens toward God. You cannot form a negative opinion of someone (even though they deserve it!) and allow that opinion to crystallize into an attitude.  For every time you do, an aspect of your heart will cool toward God.” – Unknown Author

You may think that you are open to God but the Scriptures are clear:  “The one who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”- I John 4:20

We show Agape Love to God through obedience, the opposite of lawlessness, so when disobedience increases, Agape grows cold.

The Bible is clear on the issue of forgiveness and how crucial it is for us to forgive those whom have hurt us and caused deep wounds in our hearts.  We may get angry and feel like getting revenge, but God says to NOT sin in your anger and HE will get revenge, it is not up to us to do.  We need to step out in faith and let God fight for us.  Mark 11:25 tells us, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” – Ephesians 4:26-27

 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

 “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.” – Romans 12:19

 So, if we have Unforgiveness imbedded into our hearts, we most definitely WILL have a hardening and a coldness that coats it that eventually penetrates.  Our love for God and others will become hard and cold, even if we don’t realize it, because of its’ cunning affects.  The process of Unforgiveness is like a cancer and can be a slow progression, when it has become a problem, we see and feel the signs and symptoms of it and we know something is wrong.  We know, but are too scared to see a doctor and have it checked out, in case we have to suffer the physical and mental pain of treatment in order to get rid of it.

The same is true with Unforgiveness, once we get to a certain downhill spiral of the unforgiving heart; we see the signs and symptoms of it in our lives.  We know something is wrong, but don’t examine our hearts for fear of having to deal with our past and Unforgiveness, which in turn, means we have to deal with the pain and anguish of it all.  “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

 Finally, once we realize that we have to deal with our unforgiveness and to forgive the person(s), we need to contact them somehow and tell them that we forgive them, even if they are not sorry.  If we have done wrong to them as well by sinning in our anger, we need to confess our wrongs to God AND to them, then ask for their forgiveness.  If they have passed away or have no way of contacting them, write a letter and read it out-loud to God, confessing asking for God’s forgiveness.

The asking for forgiveness or telling that we forgive them is NOT about them accepting it or not.  It is NOT about doing it so they say they are sorry back.  It is NOT about hanging out with one another again…, but it IS about clearing up your side of the street.  The act of forgiveness is about freedom in your heart and being obedient to God. It does not matter what the other person says or does with it.  Jesus commands us to forgive and ask for His strength as we can not do it on our own.  It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to truly forgive another.  It is your choice to obey Him or not and do you want to allow God’s love to flow through you like fresh, clear and “living” water.

“If we do not move in divine forgiveness, we will walk in much deception. We will presume we have discernment when in truth, we are seeing through the veil of a “critical spirit.” We must know our weaknesses, for if we are blind to our sins, what we assume we discern in men will merely be a reflection of ourselves.” – Francis Frangipane

“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.” – Revelation 2:4

"Your Love for God Will Grow Cold with Unforgiveness"
“Your Love for God Will Grow Cold with Unforgiveness”

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